Oops! I'm back.

Much better post-admission/discharge

2010-12-25T21:23:00.002-05:00

While there, respiratory problems set in that were most difficult. My oxygen saturation dropped to 70% and that was on 7 Liters/minute of oxygen, it temporarily affected my ability to communicate and express myself, although I knew what was going on, what I wanted, or needed. There were several "hiccups" in this admission stay that I shan't go into here. Suffice it to say that I left nonplussed, and did discuss the details of these things with my doctor. Still even so, I am not as well off as I used to be not so long ago. Merely standing in the kitchen, scraping seeds out of a squash, to bake it, tends to make me short of breath, and I must sit, relax, and regain my breath, despite being on 5, 6 or even 7 Liters/minute. Due to the fact that my (acute) Home Health is approved for only 4 weeks, I am switching to long term Hospice. This will give me a RN to monitor me, and a CNA, longer, to assist with my baths, which is a great blessing.

Not doing as well as I'd hoped for...

2010-11-30T16:48:00.002-05:00

The area in question is no longer draining, the redness and inflammation is not better, and if anything, is worse. I realized how debilitating it was tonight when I could not maneuver myself OUT of the bathtub, and "S" had to come over and give me leverage. Had I used the larger one in the master bathroom, I might have managed, although in my weakened state it would have been difficult. As it was, in the standard bathtub, lacking agility as it is, I could not get in a good and safe position for getting up, without falling. So good ol' "S" came by and helped me. I was due at my Urologist's office tomorrow for a PSA test because it was elevated when he first treated my BPH, but he expects it to be down now. It is imperative that I get it checked, because elevated PSA means prostate cancer. However, as I had an infection at that time, and infections are known to elevate the reading too, he feels that was the cause. But a follow up test is necessary. I decide instead of going to ER tonight, since it's not really an ER thing, not emergent, just difficult to cope with, and not resolving, that I'll phone tomorrow, postpone the blood work, tell them that I am bypassing them to go to Dr. "C," and that I'll make sure he has it drawn for them. I do anticipate being admitted to hospital for more aggressive treatment of this site in question. If not, I shall be surprised.

Somewhat better kind of sort of maybe.

2010-11-28T17:25:00.000-05:00

Slept heavily all day except for basics: tending to FiFi, medications, meals, etc. No doubt needed due to general ickiness of cellulitis making me feel fatigued. Had great conversation with a friend on phone despite poor connection, much enjoyed & appreciated. Assisted well by FiFi's People-Cousin Lyle with basics: unloading dishwasher, loading washing machine, hauling plastic trash bag out of kitchen trash bin into utility room, etc. On really good days, I do those things myself. On medium good days, I have one of the teenager-people-cousins of FiFi's haul the clothes hamper into utility room for me. Legs a bit swollen, not the worst they have ever been, but more so than recent weeks. Not uncomfortable, though - legs that is. Chronic anyway. Just a matter of degrees. Tends to come with the CHF. Drainage seems less. Still feel sore and general lousiness. Do believe am mending, however. Tonight, tomorrow, and Tuesday will tell for sure. Am due PSA blood work at Urologist's office, and as I feel now, don't feel up to going. Hope to feel up to it by then. Not that I ever feel up to "going" - outside much. FiFi's Aunt Pam cooking a beef brisket and said will send plate over so I don't have to fix anything. How sweet and kind!

Thanksgiving: A prose for all the people. Stanza End.

2010-11-25T20:10:00.001-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving: A prose for all the people. Stanza Twelve.

2010-11-25T20:09:00.003-05:00

A prose for all the people On this Thanksgiving day Open up your heart and soul to all And let love and compassion be our new way.

Thanksgiving: A prose for all the people. Stanza Eleven.

2010-11-25T20:09:00.001-05:00

A prose for all the people Who would Jesus not share with What material would he put before the Soul None, and too many have compassion that is lithe

Thanksgiving: A prose for all the people. Stanza Ten.

2010-11-25T20:08:00.002-05:00

A prose for all the people And for those sitting in church pews At the alter of Jesus they kneel Jesus and the Good Samaritan being old news

Thanksgiving: A prose for all the people. Stanza Nine.

2010-11-25T20:08:00.001-05:00

A prose for all the people Poverty in America is a crime, But it's the poor deemed ill And brotherhood dead, I have mine

Thanksgiving: A prose for all the people. Stanza Eight.

2010-11-25T20:07:00.002-05:00

A prose to all the people Dickens warned us but deaf we were Stock shareholders, greed, they reap all As the banks lure more to foreclosure

Thanksgiving: A prose for all the people. Stanza Seven.

2010-11-25T20:07:00.001-05:00

A prose for all the people No home, No money, No job And too many others with no Soul As if of compassion they were rob

Thanksgiving: A prose for all the people. Stanza Six.

2010-11-25T20:06:00.002-05:00

A prose for all the people Vagrants, crazies, ,and losers They are called , lost in the shuffle Ignored by those driving by in cruisers

Thanksgiving: A prose for all the people. Stanza Five.

2010-11-25T20:06:00.001-05:00

A prose for all the people Only crime for some is they are poor No happy Thanksgiving meal For thee, hungry to the core

Thanksgiving: A prose for all the people. Stanza Four.

2010-11-25T20:05:00.002-05:00

A prose for all the people Wealth of Nations now more important than compassion The rich worship gold and money at their temple While the poor for their child have none.

Thanksgiving: A prose for all the people. Stanza Three.

2010-11-25T20:05:00.001-05:00

A prose for all the people Cold, hungry, and without a home Asking for a dollar, guarter or nickel As our streets they invisibly roam

Thanksgiving: A prose for all the people. Stanza Two.

2010-11-25T20:04:00.000-05:00

A prose for all the people On this day of giving thanks While those with eat till full And those without feel the rank

Thanksgiving: A prose for all the people. Stanza One.

2010-11-25T20:02:00.001-05:00

A prose for all the people Living in this world of dichotomy Plebians with null trying to be thankful Their lives a Thespian drama for thee

Thanksgiving: A prose for all the people. Intro.

2010-11-25T19:59:00.001-05:00

My Cousin, Tom, in California, writes poems, poetry, comic skits, and more. He is hoping to move from having been in the Insurance industry as an adjuster (something he is loathed to do anymore, and has disengaged from), into these things, which he loves, and are an expression from within. This started out as a "Thanksgiving poem," he was going to share with me, but it rather mutated, as writings often do, into a critique on the status of this old world in relation to Thanksgiving. Because it wasn't "positive and upbeat" he first held it back, but I said I would love to read it if he would send it, which he did. I was, as always so impressed with his works that I asked if I could share it with everyone, and he said that was fine, he did not mind my doing so at all. So, for whatever it's worth, here it is. I hope you find it worth reading, and a tad inspirational, as I did.

Dear America, Your Taxes Are Going Up 20%, Food and Gas Prices Will Skyrocket, Fed Drops Bomb On Us

2010-11-14T02:06:00.000-05:00

Dear America, Your Taxes Are Going Up 20%, Food and Gas Prices Will Skyrocket, Fed Drops Bomb On Us AmpedStatus | November 10, 2010 I've been writing report after report detailing our economic and political crisis. After writing two books and getting over five million page views on my online reports, I am inspired by the response and support they have been getting from people across the political spectrum. However, I am forced to confront the fact that we are still failing to reach the people that we most urgently need to reach, the average American citizen, the people who are busy working every day trying to make ends meet and don't have the time to read through long reports.   We've begun work on a documentary, but it will take at least eight months to get it out and, given the urgency of our situation, we realize that we don't have time to spare. So we are going to start making short videos to break issues down in an easily understood manner. The goal is to have a video that family and friends can watch which explains our crisis and hopefully inspires passive people into action.  In this first video, I explain the Federal Reserve's latest Quantitative Easing scheme.  Get Involved! As a first step, please join our email list: http://tinyurl.com/dmufhj  Please send this video to family and friends.  Source site: http://ampedstatus.com/ http://therealnews.com/t2/component/seyret/?task=videodirectlink&id=8295 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yde_wYkhCm8

Anti-American Manifesto: Time for Revolution Political

2010-11-14T02:00:00.000-05:00

Anti-American Manifesto: Time for Revolution Political cartoonist Ted Rall appeared on the Dylan Ratigan Show on MSNBC to discuss his new book and the need for revolutionary change in America. While he did note violence is the last resort, it is one that he believes will ultimately become a part of the American DNA. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=namL_pIqsVo

PEGGY LEE!!!

2010-11-13T20:45:00.000-05:00

"Her career spanned 7 decades and she sang with Benny Goodman's big band, too!!! Ain't We Got Fun http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7wKHIYysjY FEVER! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGb5IweiYG8 With Benny Goodman, Why Don't You DO Right http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdqvX-n25gs BEAUTIFUL TRUE TALENT!!! Unlike nowadays augmented by synth and more. SIGH. Mama & I often talked about how people had to REALLY HAVE REAL TALENT in those days. Is That All There Is? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qe9kKf7SHco With Judy Garland, I Like Men http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x638b8_judy-garland-peggy-lee-i-like-men_music With TOOTS Thielemans, Makin' Whoopee http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1Ypdsam6wE

Amazon defends 'Pedophile's Guide'

2010-11-10T18:07:00.001-05:00

MY EMAIL TO THEIR CUSTOMER SERVICE DEPARTMENT MOMENTS AGO.... https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/contact-us/general-questions.html Can you tell me if this is true, or not? http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40112145/ It is important to me. I thoroughly disapprove. I do not want to have to discontinue my Amazon account, I need it. I am disabled on oxygen at home and do not drive. But, there are larger issues, and integrity matters. I realize you are a business in it for profits but there are limits and if this is true, you have gone well beyond it. Thank you for your time. I await your reply.

Good/bad news (PUN!)

2010-11-10T15:19:00.001-05:00

Good/bad news, depending on whom you are: I'm still alive! ;) Eech! All puns aside: Sadly, there are always those who would wish such on us, out there. The worse of it is, they bring such negative devastation on themselves by engaging in such a thing. When I think what those people are creating for their karma ... I shudder.

YouTube - Pennsylvania to Become 'Gasland'?

2010-11-09T00:07:00.002-05:00

YouTube - Pennsylvania to Become 'Gasland'? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRRe5X6deNc The entire energy needs of the USA could be met for the next 2 to 30 years by this, alone. Of course (GAG) Halliburton was there with others competing for drilling rights. They say it's a 100 year supply. Rove was key speaker. (DOUBLE gag.) This involves "frac'ing" which is known to contaminate environments, and water supplies. [From the video.] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydraulic_fracturing#Environmental_and_human_health_concerns

USA politically paranoid almost 50 years ago

2010-11-08T15:58:00.003-05:00

These words are in the caption below this picture: "Kennedy's Catholicism was...openly derided." "...millions of Protestants, Baptists, Methodists, and other non-Catholics...believed - genuinely believed - that once in office JFK would be taking his marching orders from Rome." Apparently we were paranoid idiots even back then. DUH! (Echos of "Obama's a Muslim" now, almost a good 50 years ago! I mean, I've got MAJOR disappointments in Obama, but let's not do my usual digression now and I'll be even more scary - engage BREVITY instead of verbosity!!!) SIGH!

Small banks failing as larger firms regain health - Yahoo! Finance

2010-11-08T00:29:00.000-05:00

Small banks failing as larger firms regain health - Yahoo! Finance U.S. banks are failing at the fastest rate in two decades. No, the financial crisis hasn't returned. Wall Street doesn't need another bailout. But in communities around the country, 143 banks have collapsed so far this year - more than all of last year. This time, the failed banks are smaller, on average, than in 2008 and 2009. The damage to the industry has thus been milder this time. Still, the wave of closings points to the persistent struggles of many communities and states. On Friday, regulators closed four small banks: One each in Maryland and Washington state and two in California -- one of the hardest-hit states, where a dozen banks have failed this year. As larger banks have regained their health this year, thanks in part to federal aid, smaller ones have struggled

The Face of an American Generation Lost.

2010-11-04T21:46:00.000-04:00

Republicans in Washington had no problem handing over billions of dollars to their pals on Wall Street when they were in trouble, but they refuse to extend unemployment benefits for Americans who are still unable to find work in our economy. And even as corporate profits have reached back up to record levels, job creation has remained stagnant. The result of this is that we've created a lost generation of American workers -- those people who want to work, but can't find meaningful employment. Mike Papantonio talks with investigative journalist Andy Kroll, who's been travelling the country, meeting with this lost generation that the Republicans don't seem to care about.

Giant landslide under residential street

2010-11-01T20:11:00.002-04:00

In this aerial photo, a giant landslide under a residential street which claimed a car and left another car hanging over the edge is seen in Schmalkalden, central Germany, Monday, Nov. 1, 2010. The cause of the landslide is yet unclear unclear. Residents were evacuated from 23 buildings. Nobody was injured.

A nice surprise!

2010-10-31T15:19:00.000-04:00

I was listening to music downloaded from iTunes via my "Blackberry Desktop Manager" software into my Blackberry Curve smartphone with my earpieces so I could hear all the high and low notes, the thuds of bass, and great stereo sounds in the music, when my cousin Tom called, which was FINE. I was very glad to hear him. Thing is, I fretted that I had to find a way to "turn off" the music before it interrupted Tom! It WENT INTO PAUSE. ON IT'S OWN. AUTOMATICALLY. And STATED there until we hung up, at which time it picked back up where it had left off with the current paused song! I was very impressed.

October 30, 2010 Halloween Special

2010-10-30T22:03:00.001-04:00

Go to http://www.unknowncountry.com/dreamland/ Click on "click here to LISTEN NOW" Select "October 30, 2010 Halloween Special Click here to listen" Program should start to auto-play. If not, click on the arrow to start playing program. About 42 min 37 sec. Very good program. Enjoy.

Probably shared this before but enjoy! :)

2010-10-26T04:33:00.000-04:00

"Conversations with Terrorists"

2010-10-23T16:38:00.000-04:00

Bio Reese Erlich is a best-selling book author and freelance journalist who writes regularly for the Dallas Morning News, Canadian Broadcasting Corp. Radio and National Public Radio. He has won numerous journalism awards, including the prestigious Peabody (shared with others). He is the author of several books, and is currently touring across the country promoting his most recent one called: Conversations with Terrorists: Middle East Leaders on Politics, Violence and Empire, published in September 2010. You can find Reese’s tour dates on his website www.reeseerlich.com. Transcript PAUL JAY, SENIOR EDITOR, TRNN: Welcome to The Real News Network. I'm Paul Jay in Washington. And joining us now from Oakland, California, is Reese Erlich. He's the author of the book Conversation with Terrorists: Middle East Leaders on Politics, Violence, and Empire, and he's just about to begin a national tour. He's a longtime foreign correspondent and covered the region in the Middle East and Afghanistan and Iran and other places for more than 42 years. Thanks for joining us, Reese. REESE ERLICH, JOURNALIST AND AUTHOR: Thank you so much for having me. JAY: The Conversations with Terrorists, I guess that is a bit ironic in your title, because the list of people, some of whom are now called terrorists and others are called respected national leaders—. So tell us a little bit about the theme of the book and who you're talking about. ERLICH: Conversations with Terrorists profiles six leaders from the Middle East and South Asia—Afghanistan, Iran, Lebanon, Palestine, Israel. And it includes people like Khaled Mashal, the head of Hamas, and Bashar al-Assad, the president of Syria, and Geulah Cohen, who is a right-wing leader in Israel and a former member of the Stern Gang in the pre-1948 period when the Zionists were using terrorist tactics against the British and the Arabs. So the book looks at these people, delves into who are they really, what do they really believe, are they really terrorists, and if not, what should the US policy towards them be. JAY: In terms of the approach of your book, how do you define terrorism, then? ERLICH: For me, terrorism is the use of violence or murder against civilians for a political purpose. So, for example, when a Palestinian straps on a suicide vest and intentionally goes into a shopping center or some other place where there are civilians, that's clearly a terrorist act. When Israel drops a 500 pound bomb on an apartment building in Gaza, allegedly to go after one Hamas leader but knowing full well that dozens of civilians will be killed, that's also an act of terrorism. And, of course, everybody in the US government and Israel would agree to the first definition, but they take great disagreement with the second one and say, claim that Israel goes out of its way to avoid civilian casualties. And the record is very clear, and the book makes it very clear that that's simply propaganda. JAY: So the recent UN report on what happened on the flotilla that was an aid—group of boats going to Gaza to try to break the blockade on Gaza, it's now found that the Israeli commandos dropped on the boat, and according to this report, the people that were killed were—many of them were actually lying down as they were shot, according to what the report says the forensic evidence shows. Would you define that, then, as an act of terrorism? ERLICH: Well, I think clearly the Israelis attacked a group of unarmed civilians who were on a boat bringing relief supplies to Gaza. Now, they claim they were attacked and one thing or another, but the facts as established by the UN Human Rights Commission was that they executed several people at point blank range. There was incontrovertible forensic evidence that the Israeli soldiers came up behind them and shot them dead after they were either wounded or simply lying on the deck. So yes. But the Israelis argue that—somehow turn themselves into victims for this, that they were under assault by Turkish fundamentalists or something. I mean, I've covered the Middle East now for 25 years. I've been to Israel seven times. I've been to Palestine, in Gaza and the West Bank. I've been to Lebanon. And, you know, the Israelis all too often simply make stuff up, and it's echoed by the US government and by the media here. JAY: Now, if Hezbollah, Hamas, they seem to accept the idea that what they call martyrdom operations against civilians—. I know I—we just got back from the Middle East a few months ago, and if you talk to ordinary Palestinians, they actually distinguish very much between attacks on Israeli military and Israeli civilians, and I think popular opinion amongst the Palestinians is very much against attacks on Israeli civilians. But Hamas and Hezbollah seem to accept it as a tactic they won't take off the table. So would it be then correct to call these organizations terrorist? ERLICH: Well, the first thing that gets lost in this discussion is that Hamas has not sanctioned any suicide bombings since 2005. That was a decision they made in light of the political situation in between Israel and the Palestinians. So—but this is an argument I've had with Hamas leaders, with Khaled Mashal, with others in camps in Lebanon. Their argument is the Israelis kill our civilians any time they want, and Israelis must serve in the army, therefore there's no such thing as an Israeli civilian, so therefore our attacks on them are justified and they're acts of resistance. I think that's absolutely dead wrong. It's both immoral and it's counterproductive politically. And as you pointed out, there are other views among Palestinians that say, no, we should not attack Israeli civilians; we have to live with these folks long-term; and if you're going to engage in armed actions, it should be against military, police, or other sectors of the people they think that are oppressing them. JAY: Now, the Republican Party continues to use all the rhetoric of the Bush administration, that the war is a war against terrorism, as terrorism itself being the enemy. The Obama administration seems to go back and forth on it. Sometimes they seem to buy into the war on terrorism. Sometimes it's about al-Qaeda. How do you assess the discourse as it now exists in the US on this? ERLICH: I think the Obama administration really had an opportunity to change course quite significantly, even within the context of mainstream politics in the United States, and they failed miserably. The Obama administration doesn't use the term "war on terror", but it carries out the same kind of propaganda. So it lumps together Al-Qaeda, who certainly do use terrorist tactics against civilians, and FARC guerrillas, that is, the Colombian Marxist guerrillas, and the Spanish separatists of ETA in Spain. I mean, somehow, anybody who uses violence against the US or its allies is a terrorist. I—stop and think about it. Is there anybody in the world who currently uses violence against the US that's not a terrorist? And it's absurd. You can't have a war against a tactic. It's a prescription for never-ending war, because you can never win it. There will always be somebody out there potentially who could blow himself up. Therefore you have to keep the United States in economic crisis and political crisis permanently. JAY: Well, you can see the evidence of that in the fact they're continuing the prosecution of [Omar] Khadr, the young kid in Afghanistan who's being charged with a war crime for throwing a grenade when the compound he was under in Afghanistan was being bombed. It became a war crime to attack an American soldier, essentially a terrorist attack. ERLICH: You know, you can't have aggressive wars abroad without having economic crisis at home and repression at home. So all of these things that people were shocked under the Bush administration doing, like asserting the right to arrest American citizens and hold them without trial because they're accused of being terrorists, the Obama administration upholds that. They're now going in to seek greater backdoor entry to your computers and to your Internet, email, etc., because they claim they can't get enough information without it otherwise. I mean, a whole series of civil liberties issues, the Obama administration is pushing just as hard as Bush did to take away our civil liberty. JAY: Thanks very much for joining us. ERLICH: Thank you. JAY: Thank you for joining us on The Real News Network. End of Transcript DISCLAIMER: Please note that transcripts for The Real News Network are typed from a recording of the program. TRNN cannot guarantee their complete accuracy

A Christmas Turkey - PIZZA???

2010-10-22T06:49:00.001-04:00

Is this pizza a turkey? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s a bird on a plain crust - and a harbinger of terrible things to come... Next month, Fire & Stone restaurants around the country are launching a Christmas dinner pizza: a festive concoction of turkey, roast potatoes, stuffing, pork and apricot sausage, brie, cranberry sauce and gravy - all on a pizza base. A Christmas dinner pizza will be available around the UK. Yum, I hear you all cry! First, the thick gravy is spread across the base like tomato sauce. Then sliced turkey is followed by sausage pieces, roast potato cubes and balls of stuffing, before being ‘draped’ with slices of brie which will melt during cooking. The cranberry sauce and parsley are added later. It costs £11.25 and represents the kind of evil, festive genius that only this country can produce. But where are the Brussels sprouts?

Happy Halloween

2010-10-22T00:33:00.001-04:00

http://ak.imgag.com/imgag/product/preview/flash/bws8Shell.swf?ihost=http://ak.imgag.com/imgag&brandldrPath=/product/full/el/&cardNum=/product/full/ap/3125133/graphic1

31st Annual Loris Bog-Off

2010-10-19T20:10:00.000-04:00

31st Annual Loris Bog-Off

Wandering around, finding "The Butch Factor" by accident

2010-10-06T16:00:00.003-04:00

I was, as I often do, wandering around the Internet, aimlessly. I ended up at this spot and I don't even know how I got there. Not that it matters. But then I ran into a video on one of those pages, that I found most interesting, embedded, titled "The Butch Factor" and I traced it's original link to here. That got me curious about where the video actually was coming from, so I dug deeper, backtracking to here. But I say all of that just by way of explanation. The point of this post, in its entirety, to me, is The Butch Factor video, which I strongly recommend viewing.

Two Little Boys

2010-09-27T01:21:00.001-04:00

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew all about it. If any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, 'Do you know where God is, son?' The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, 'Where is God?' Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, 'Where is God?' The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, 'What happened?' The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, 'We are in BIG trouble this time,' 'GOD is missing, and they think we did it!'

How come?

2010-08-25T04:19:00.001-04:00

How come every time I wake up in the "middle of the night" it's around 01:30 am, 02:30 AM, sometimes 03:30 am? Last night, not tonight, but last night, I had a disturbing dream. I dreamed I was meandering through a rather empty, somewhat vaguely threatening, mall, with various spots of "ill repute," that I was trying to avoid. I was trying to get out. That was the drive I felt - I had to get OUT of there. Suddenly Carl, ex-number 1 of 4, showed up, going with me, helping me. We got out. Then we were in the parking lot, and I was meandering around this parking lot, which had lots of cars in it, even though the mall was almost empty of any people, and I was looking for my car, with Carl helping me. But my car was my 1984 (85? 86? Not sure!) Nissan Sentra. It was a little "boxy" car, blue. It was, in fact, the car I owned when I met Carl, and one he trashed. I woke up, from that dream, having never found my car. Tonight, I had another dream, it was less complex. I dreamed that some kind of alien, or spirit, was being benevolent to me, looking kindly on me, although what it was, and what this meant, I don't know. I dreamed that it made me some kind of paper bag mask (like the old kind of paper bags we used to have from grocery stores), and this was supposed to be some kind of act of kindness, almost a loving thing, but there was an undercurrent. A vague feeling of something not right. A vague feeling that this alien, this spirit, whichever it was, could not really be trusted, but I had to go along with it, at the moment. I felt that if I did not, it could turn ugly. I woke up. It was, no surprise, 02:30 AM. My reaction, "I have to stay up from now until beyond 04:30 AM!" I felt it. I've read that these are the hours our brain has chemicals in our sleep that spike, and the most likely time of alien abductions 02:30 AM to 04:30 AM. It's of no comfort to me, that in this list http://www.crystalinks.com/abduction.html I can find several things that are applicable to me. I edited the list to show the ones I connect with. Possible Signs That You Have Been Abducted Have a memory of having a special place with spiritual significance, when you were a youngster (This IS true, but it was not negative. It was a visit to the Biblical Gardens in the Wisconsin Dells when I was a child, and I ran up to a statue of Jesus with little children around him, and it had the quote about letting the little children come unto him because of such is the kingdom of heaven. I felt a deep penetrating warm glow that I could not explain, that I have only felt one other time, as an adult.) Fear or anxiety over the subject of aliens or UFOs (Yes. One friend suggested I do hypnotic regressive therapy, to find out if there's more than the one abduction I know of, and I said no, the very idea of digging further terrifies me.) Fear of being kidnapped or abnormal constantly monitoring of your surroundings (Less severe than in the past, but to be frank, still haunting me at night, in the dark, and has, for years, decades. It started after that abduction I remember.) Insomnia or sleep disorders which are puzzling to you (I never thought about it until now, but this all started living here on this land where it happened.) Paralyzed in bed with a being in your room (Been there, done that, but it was terrifying. The presence was sheer evil, hooded. I could not see into the hood, but sensed I did not want to. It literally blocked my doorway of my bedroom, but I was totally paralyzed. I couldn't even cry out, with my voice.) Dreams about seeing UFOs, being inside UFOs, or interacting with UFO occupants (The abduction comes of as a dream.) Feeling of being watched much of the time, especially at night (Bingo) Beams of light outside your home, or come into your room through a window (This is how the abductions started. I thought it was headlights, and thought "Someone's here," but that was instantly followed by the worst terror I have ever felt.) Hearing unexplained physical noises (I don't even want to talk about this one lest it starts up again. I've heard a few things this week always at night in the dark.) Missing or lost time (I have frequently "woke up" driving down a road, time passed, wondering where I was, disoriented. The irony of this was I was on my way to/from work, and usually got there on time because I "woke up" well down the road by many miles. I used to think I was just exhausted and "zoned out" but it didn't make a lot of sense.) Compelled to drive or walk to an out of the way or unknown area (More than once.) Strange humming or pulsing sounds, and you could not identify the source (Bingo.) A strong "marker memory" that will not go away (i.e.: an alien face, an examination, a needle, a table, a strange skinny baby (Alien face to my right, me on a table, a lightning fast injection in my arm, and I woke up in bed, daylight, terrified, my arm hurting, aching, just life with a flu shot, for 3 days.) DNA genetic encodings activated - increased psychic abilities (My ability to read Tarot cards, and my ability to experience several kinds of clairvoyance http://www.psychicchatsonline.net/types-of-clairvoyance-psychic-abilities/ all started here, and come to think of it, after the abduction.)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

2010-08-23T20:11:00.002-04:00

Reasons I am upset about Obama's "healthcare" reform

2010-08-10T20:19:00.003-04:00

As SENATOR Obama he's on record as FOR Single Payer. As CANDIDATE Obama he's on record for Medicare-For-All. As PRESIDENT Obama he's on record for "Public Option," which he dropped SO fast that NONE of us ever found out what it REALLY meant. THEN he was for "insurance cooperative" parroting RepubliCONS neocon lies that it would "save" us money - I have a "cooperative" for electricity, and a "cooperative" forInternet (they also hold landline phone and cable TV, those two I have OFF however), and I can tell you that my bills are in NO way AT ALL cheaper than YOURS. It's just that I'm TOO RURAL for BIG companies to invest out here, so the cooperatives is ALL that I have. EVERY time the Republicans screamed, stomped, shrieked, howled, lied, threw temper tantrums, Obama instantly virtually got down on his knees practically sniveling for their approval over and over almost whining "Bipartisan!" despite them REPEATEDLY virtually RIPPING his face off. One cannot help but wonder WHERE IS HIS SPINE? I WOULD have voted for him - as opposed to John "Bomb, bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran" McCain and Sarah "Drill baby, drill" Palin, in a heartbeat, but I was sick and could not vote that day. Regardless, I am sorely disappointed. I have even told him so at their web site, and of course got NO answers.

Aging

2010-07-30T20:04:00.001-04:00

Observations on Growing Older ~Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them...but your grandchildren are perfect! ~Going out is good. Coming home is better! ~When people say you look "Great"... they add "for your age!" ~When you needed the discount, you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything... movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them. ~You forget names .... but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!! ~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds. ~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything .... especially golf. ~Your spouse is counting on you to remember things you don't remember. ~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore. ~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed. It's called his "pre-sleep". ~Remember when your mother said, "Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident! ~You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married... Now, "I hope they STAY married!" ~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.. ~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem ... were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table. ~You used to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"... ??? ~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere. ~Your husband has a night out with the guys, but he's home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 P..M. ~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it. ~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!! ~What used to be freckles are now liver spots. ~Everybody whispers. ~Now that your husband has retired .... you'd give anything if he'd find a job! ~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ... 2 of which you will never wear. ~~~~But old is good in some things: old songs, old movies, And best of all, OLD FRIENDS!! Love you, "OLD FRIEND!" Send this on to other "Old Friends!" and let them laugh in AGREEMENT!!! It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived!

Oy! Memories! MJ's "Leave Me Alone" from the 80s

2010-07-23T02:49:00.001-04:00

On jump-starting the economy

2010-07-21T23:26:00.003-04:00

The solution is not to credit. Post WWII "up" economy buying power was not built on credit cards. Credit? Yes. Cars, houses. But even in 60s credit cards (pre-VISA card) belonged to a few businessMEN, and NOT to women. Wrong, yes, but fact. Point - economy was not credit card driven. Outside of big credit for houses, cars, etc., things were saved for, bought on lay-a-way, which still exists, by the way. How hard is it to pay for something you want badly enough in 3 months, without interest, with no reference to your credit, and no bad mark on your credit if you "default"! You get money you paid back, but they keep the "fee" you paid upfront, if you do that, and put it back on the sale rack. Drawback - things reduced on sale usually get a 2 week lay-a-way. Plus - you can pay any amount at any frequency so long as you meet a minimum agreed-upon amount monthly. I remember my late mama buying, on credit card, and said, confused, "What did people do before credit cards?" Then it came to her, "Of course! They laid-a-way!" I told her "Guess what, mama! It still exists, today!" She was shocked, "Richway, K-Mart, Belk. They all do 3 months." She asked the clerk at the register, and she confirmed, yes, they still had lay-a-way. Mama was flabbergasted that it was not being used much and that she'd forgotten about it.

I am $79.95 poorer, but....

2010-07-13T12:03:00.000-04:00

Well, I am $79.95 poorer, but at least the refrigerator got a clean bill of health, for now. The man checked it thoroughly, and confirmed what I suspected: it started behaving again (late last week, a day or two after I phoned in for the repair man to come), before he got here. It was doing exactly what it was supposed to do. At first, he thought not, because the freezer wasn't at zero F (-17.78 C), but was floating around 32 F (0 C). Then he realized it had just slipped into its "defrost mode" before he got here. So, he watched it for a while and found it went in & out of that just fine. He checked it out thoroughly, and found no signs of problems, leaks, etc. The only "things" he found were a clogged freezer drain, which he flushed for me, and that it's nearly empty, and he pointed out that promotes inefficiency. I assured him, as soon as my money is in (due today), that can and will change. He also told me what to look for, how to know if a compressor goes, and how/where the "off" switch is, which I did not know. I told him that was good to know, incase it started doing things it wasn't supposed to do. He agreed. However, he did give me some tentative bad news that was definitely unwelcome. I was just about to ask him what the average lifespan of a refrigerator from that era was, as it is 11 years old, when he volunteered the information: 10 to 15 years. So, he said, at 11, mine was definitely on it's final run, but not having problems - yet. He also explained the kind of things that would be worth fixing on it (fans, seals, etc.) and the kinds of things not worth fixing on it (compressors). In the former case, he said calling him would work, but in the latter case, I would be better off buying a new one. SIGH! Yea, right! Well, all I could tell him was that it had better hold until I get my credit card paid down so I can get one then if I need one, etc.

Ray Noble Orchestra,Tony Martin,Paul Robeson,Noel Coward,Fred Astaire,Buddy Clark1930s-Ray Noble-41-50

2010-07-07T00:25:00.000-04:00

A look at my own past

2010-06-29T15:44:00.000-04:00

If I had to speak words, right now, instead of type on this keyboard, I could not, because of the choked up feelings and tears. The notorious verbose chatterer that I am, given to digression with ease, I cannot find the words, for this, right now. Not any that I want, that begin to convey my feelings, my response, my emotions, having read this. Yes, thank you for writing it, but "thank you" seems so - inadequate. One last thing, I recollect the first time I got an HIV test. It was the early 1980s. I had sudden weight loss. Ultimately, it was because of having been so obsessed with my weight, that I purged myself too much with laxatives, got symptoms, and self-medicated with a health store brand of potassium, only to make things worse. By the time my doctor saw me, I had a notable weight loss of a sudden 10 pound drop, and bizarre cardiac rhythms. I suspected it was that, but didn't have to courage to tell her. Knowing I was gay, she said "I think it's about time to test for HIV." I started to cry, quietly. I was also seeing a counselor back then, to help me cope with being gay. I remember telling her that if I was positive, I was going to commit suicide, and how. I had it all figured out, in detail. I also added, very calculatedly, "And there's absolutely nothing you can do about it, to stop me. You have to let me leave your office, today." She asked "Why?" and I said, "Because by law, I have to be a danger to myself, and/or to others, for you to commit me, and this moment, I am not actively a danger to either myself, or others." She paused, stared me down, and said, "You're right." I knew, that week, that if it was positive, that I was going to do it, because I feared facing an AIDS-related death. Of coping with fundamentalist parents who disapproved of all-things-gay. In retrospect, I knew that fear, only for me, that fear could not stop the test, but drive me over the cliff, if I was indeed, positive. Despite being positive now, diagnosed in 2002, I am glad that did not pan out that way, back in the 1980s. I would have missed out on a lot of life, and much with family and friends, that was yet to come.

How U know you need to pray @ work 2/2

2010-06-20T18:49:00.005-04:00

How U know you need to pray @ work 1/2

2010-06-20T18:43:00.000-04:00

What I posted at this article electronic site, about my Father, for Father's Day

2010-06-20T13:26:00.000-04:00

The father of my childhood was not a great man. He was a good man, but not great. Or more accurately, not a great father. He deemed fatherhood equated to being the breadwinner, and that child-rearing was the mother's job. This, along with some derision, snide comments, and marital discord between mama and father, things did not go too well. Granted, we were never beaten, nor scared of him, he never drank or gambled his income away. The number of times mother would frantically tell him "Dad, they don't want 'things'! They want YOU!" only to have him stare at her, blank, and confused, I cannot count. Due to the marital discord, alleged infidelity according to mama, and a slow but clear despising from father toward mama, I grew up hating him, as a teenager, and a young adult. Things happened, as time went on, and fences got mended, that I thought never could. Father woke up to what he had and had not done, and diligently set to making things right, with the patience of Job. In due course of time, I forgave him, and realized that I really did love him. Father died, December 5, 1996. The man I grieved for, and still miss, is not the man who raised me, but a far better man. A man of honor, dignity, and respect. A man who honors his word. Yet, the depth of that only came to my understanding after he died. It was between when he died, and well before mama died (August 4, 1998), because she was still in her Marion apartment, not in Loris yet, near me. I had driven over for a visit. Enough time had passed, that we could chatter about the past, without breaking into tears, and chatter we did. For some reason, I recollected a time a friend borrowed my car, lent it to an acquaintance, who drove around drunk in it all night, that it was "stolen" from me, back then, and got retrieved that night, via the police, all while mama was in ICU. She was floored, for she had no idea at all. This intrigued me, and I pressed further on that point, explaining that yes, father had promised me that he would never tell her, but that I thought surely by now he had done so. Mama paused, and with a clear expression of calm certainty that only decades of living with someone can bring, said to me, "Let me tell you something about your father! If he promised to never tell me, then those words would never part his lips, and he would take it to his grave with him!" - which is exactly what my father had done. Suddenly, I saw my father in an entirely new light. He has such massive dignity, integrity, respect, honor, and was a man of truth who honored his word. More then ever before, I was proud of my father, and proud to be his son. My only regret is, I learned of this after he died. Robert Meek Loris SC

Colonoscopy Journal

2010-06-08T09:22:00.000-04:00

Having had this done, once or twice in my life, I can tell you this, despite most of what he says tongue-in-cheek being very true, it is still exceedingly preferable to a Barium Enema. Now that is torture! ABOUT THE WRITER Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humour columnist for the Miami Herald. Colonoscopy Journal: I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a colour diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP MY BEHIND' I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies. I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-litre plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a litre is about 32 gallons!!). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon. The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humour, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground. MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another litre of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet. After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologise to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough. At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked. Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you ! got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house. When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realised that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate. 'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like. I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colours. I have never been prouder of an internal organ. On the subject of Colonoscopies... Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies: 1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!' 2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?' 3. 'Can you hear me NOW?' 4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?' 5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.' 6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?' 7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..' 8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!' 9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!' 10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.' 11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?' 12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.' And the best one of all: 13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

Gentle Thoughts for Today

2010-06-07T12:37:00.000-04:00

A penny saved is a government oversight. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. He who hesitates is probably right. Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.. Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs' Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth. AMEN!

Adam & God: What's a headache?

2010-06-06T18:01:00.001-04:00

God said, 'Adam, I Want you to do Something for Me.' Adam said, 'Gladly, Lord, what do You Want me to do?' God said, 'Go down Into that valley.' Adam said, 'What's a Valley?' God explained it to Him. Then God said, 'Cross the river.' Adam said, 'What's a River?' God explained that To him, and then said, 'Go over to the hill....' Adam said, 'What is a Hill?' So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, 'On The other side of the Hill you will find a Cave.' Adam said, 'What's a Cave?' After God explained, He said, 'In the cave You will find a woman.' Adam said, 'What's a Woman?' So God explained That to him, too. Then, God said, 'I Want you to Reproduce.' Adam said, 'How do I do that?' God first said (under His breath), 'Geez.....' And then, just like Everything else, God Explained that to Adam, as well. So, Adam goes down Into the valley, Across the river, and Over the hill, into the Cave, and finds the Woman. Then, in about five Minutes, he was back. God, His patience Wearing thin, said Angrily, 'What is it Now?' And Adam said.... * * (YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS!!!!!!) * * * * * 'What's a headache?'

FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER

2010-06-06T11:17:00.000-04:00

Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!) Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years... A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning. Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.. Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'? A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.. Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment. Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget. Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries. Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.. One is politics, what is the other? A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.. Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom. Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.. Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected. Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet. Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING

In Honor Of Stupid People

2010-06-02T06:27:00.001-04:00

On a Sears hairdryer - Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos - You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Dial soap - Directions: Use like regular soap. On some Swanson frozen dinners - Serving suggestion: Defrost. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) - Do not turn upside down. On "Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - Product will be hot after heating. Oh packaging for a Rowenta iron - Do not iron clothes on body. On Boot's Chidren Cough Medicine - Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medicine. On Nytol Sleep Aid - Warning: May cause drowsiness. On most brands of Christmas lights - For indoor or outdoor use only. On a Japanese food processor - Not to be used for the other use. On Sainsbury's peanuts - Warnings: contains nuts. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. On a child's Superman constume - Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. On a Swedish chainsaw - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

Gimme Gimme by Savannah-Lee

2010-06-01T12:41:00.001-04:00

IDIOT SIGHTINGS

2010-05-29T19:08:00.001-04:00

IDIOT SIGHTINGS When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.' This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS IDIOT SIGHTING: We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.' We haven't used Sears repair since. IDIOT SIGHTING: My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's. IDIOT SIGHTING : I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' From Kingman , KS IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE : My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce. -- From Kansas City IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' Happened in Birmingham , Ala. IDIOT SIGHTING : The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She's a probation officer in Wichita , KS IDIOT SIGHTING : At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments. ; IDIOT SIGHTING : I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less. How would you pronounce this child's name? "Le-a" Leah?? NO Lee - A?? NOPE Lay - a?? NO Lei?? Guess Again. This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. It's pronounced "Ledasha", When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent." SO, if you see something come across your desk like this, please remember to pronounce the - . If da ax u y, tl dm d - don b silen. Nice tawkn 2 u ! I gota - cus Im l8 ! Bi ! Frank

Constitutional Republic

2010-05-22T20:33:00.000-04:00

Did you know that the United States of America is supposed to be a constitutional republic, and not just a democracy? BTW, the proper name is the United States of America, abbreviated US of A or USA. NOT "America"!!! We LIVE ON the (NORTH) American CONTINENT, but it is NOT our TRUE name. Just a reminder. I'm seeing it more & more in news everywhere, "America" "America" "America" - not "USA"! Maybe we don't deserve the name USA anymore. Maybe we're too busy policing the world, building this "empire" that we have no right to build, while neglecting ourselves, and our own. Can you imagine what we could do if the massive dollars thrown down the Pentagon's empty pockets was spent on rebuilding our dying infrastructure? Updating our antiquated electrical grid? Fixing our dangerous bridges? Bringing our railway system up to standard? Fixing our dying water systems in our major cities? Fixing our own homeless hungry population? We have the money - we just spend it on intangibles - Afghanistan, Iran, worldwide army bases. We have more military bases, and embassies, around the world, than any other country! WHY? Because we're the "remaining superpower"? I have a news flash for us - we lost THAT a LONG time ago. And even so, even if we were, how is that grounds for justifying such worldwide degenerate squandering? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constitutional_republic

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

2010-05-18T15:34:00.001-04:00

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report That her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she Explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've Stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and Even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes Later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says. 'She got in the back-seat by mistake.' TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !! ________________________________________________________________________ Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house Together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts Her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come Up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down? The 92-year-old is Sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her Sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I Never get that forgetful, knock on wood.' She then Yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.' TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! ________________________________________________________________________ 'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!' Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf One fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy, Isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.' And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.' TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! _______________________________________________________________________ A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a Nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of Her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to An elderly man in a wheelchair.. Flipping her gown at him, She said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment Or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the Soup.' TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! ____________________________________________________________________ Now this one is just too Precious...LOL! Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over The years, they had shared all kinds of activities and Adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to Meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the Other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ... I know We've been friends for a long time, but I just can't Think of your name! I've thought And thought, but I Can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.. Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she Just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How Soon do you need to know?' TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! _______________________________________________________________________ SENIOR DRIVING As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car Phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice Urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news That there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!' TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! _________________________________________________________________ DRIVING Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both Could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising Along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, But they just went on through. The woman in the passenger Seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could Have sworn we just went Through a red light.' After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection And the light was red. Again, they went right through. The Woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light Had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red And they went on through. So, She turned to the other woman And said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran Through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us Both!' Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?' TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

The non-stolen car

2010-05-16T08:45:00.000-04:00

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, ''I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally.... I assumed you had stolen the car.''

Knock Knock

2010-05-10T19:40:00.001-04:00

Door: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? Hurry up, (my Poodle) FiFi! Answer the door for Daddy! Okay, then with Daddy! Oh, it's a 13-year old Munchkin, Rikkii Roo, come bearing Sugar Free Gifts of Delicious Candy for your Daddy, from your Aunt Pam! Oh, yum, yum, yum! No, FiFi, you can't have any! No!